Challenges

"This is the worst day of my life." "Everything is going wrong." "Leave me alone!"
Slam the door shut, block out the chaos that consumes my life. School, parents, friends.
There's nothing I can do, I'm a complete screw up
Inhaling my troubles, secrets, problems, hurt
But keeping everything inside
Consuming my life
Turn the music up louder, tune life out
Climb into bed, hide under the covers, take a deep breath, and do it all again tomorrow

Surprising? Yeah, I know. But lately, I've just felt like things are out of control. I honestly didn't know where to turn to or what to do because I didn't even know where all of my problems started. But that's the thing, it wasn't just one instance that started the conflict and confusion.. it was a culmination of little things that were slowly, but steadily, taking my focus off of Christ.

It's not that I was starting to act like a "bad kid", but I wasn't trying my hardest to be a light for Him or to even strive to make my relationship with My Savior grow stronger.

Today, I met with Jordan Summers after school and I can honestly say that what we talked about can and will change my life. At first, she just let me vent.. get everything out that I've had built up for months, even years. Then, we made a list of all the things that affect my life the most and decided which ones I can change, and which ones are things that are completely out of my control.

I'm not gonna lie, I like to be in control and be able to make my life go the way I want it to go, so letting go of some of these issues will be very difficult. But, focusing on the good things in my life and how happy I am when they are in my life WILL help me get through this.

We made a list of challenges that I'm going to accomplish this week. And every time we meet, I'll get a new set of challenges. Some of them are one time things, and some of them I will use for the rest of my life.

Here's some of the stuff we chose for this week:
-School: Have a good attitude, talk to people, get to know one person in every class, and talk with my mom seriously and maturely about why I want to change schools.
-Soccer: Learn to love the sport again, talk maturely with my mom about the issues I have concerning the sport, look for opportunities to shine.
TV: Eliminate MTV and Glee (this one's going to be HARD, not even gonna kid you)
Twitter: No negativity, unfollow any negative influence, and tweet 1 Bible verse a day.